I learned another lesson this past week. A lesson, I'm sure I "knew", but I hadn't really experienced yet. Stress can affect you. It can affect you and it can affect the people around you. Kelly and I have seen that first hand these last couple weeks.
We've had quite a few new additions in our lives as of late. From Kelly going back to college in August to our new puppy, Dexter, who was added to our lives in May to Kelly being involved with the University of Memphis men's soccer team and the duties that come with that to our extra curricular activities and Kelly's part time job. Our lives have had some changes recently.
It's funny how quickly you get set into your normal schedule of events, knowing how the normal flow of a week looks and being comfortable with that flow. We've always been busy - that's a fact, but believe it or not, there was reason and order to our chaos. We knew what to expect and how to monitor the week as we went. We knew what time was ours together, what time we searched to hangout with friends, what time to clean the house, it was all completed throughout the week in it's own regulated, day planner oriented way. That normality has now changed.
It's a new schedule now, and we have yet to get it settled. When do we clean, when does Kelly study, when do we get to relax (ha! yeah, right?), when do we see friends and family, when do we get work done, when, when, when? It's not set yet, and we are working through the experience of having an intense schedule change. And what do all these things bring about.... stress.
One of my best friends, Kelly (yeah, a best friend named Kelly and a husband named Kelly, that made for interesting story telling when I talked to my family while Kelly and I dated - I remember the questions mid-story - "now, which Kelly are you talking about here? girl Kelly or boy Kelly? ha!). Anyway, Kelly put it a great way yesterday. She said, "more stress + less time together = worse communication".
That's so true... Marriage is all about communication and time with one another, and when living with your best friend and mate during stressful times, one must be cognizant of the intense need for communication and understanding where each person is coming from. Kelly and I saw this need unfold as the stresses piled on.
Going back to my beginning point with this post - God speaks.... through our battle with stress and not taking it out on the other person, Kelly and I finally realized it wasn't about us, it was about the other person and about the Lord. The big picture. Kelly stopped to pray over our meal Monday night and asked exactly that - that the Lord would allow us to not take our stress out on one another, that we would be focused on Him and not ourselves, and take one day at a time, and show love towards one another, being "a team" rather than pitting against one another and letting Satan have a stronghold. This prayer really helped reconnect and refocus us.
The next day, God confirmed our desires, letting us know we were asking for the right things. This confirmation was shown in two ways:
1. On our friend's blog, Hallie & Michael posted a blurp on marriage yesterday. Within the blup, Hallie wrote specifically: "What we're praying for specifically for our marriage and yours: Unity in everything. Wisdom and insight to know one another truly. Honesty and openness in all communication. Compassion and forgiveness because we are humans, after all. Passion because you are lovers, not roommates. Awareness of the enemy who seeks to destroy your marriage at every possible turn. Strength and perseverance to fight for more than just a mediocre life. All for the glory of our great God." AMEN!
2. And then again last night, our Sunday School class sent out their weekly recap of the topic the Sunday before, within it they encourage us (all married couples) to: pursue.remember why you fell in love. serve each other. remember to stay committed. realize that your arguments are that big of a deal:don't sweat the small stuff. communicate. don't assume. pray. keep a daily thought process (stay focused on the relationship). treat the other the same as yourself (as one). say I'm sorry. don't go to bed angry.
Praise the Lord for providing constant reminders and encouragement by our surrounding believers. This walk wasn't made to walk alone. And I'm so thankful for a man that loves me, leads me spiritually, and walks with me too.
No comments:
Post a Comment