Monday, October 11, 2010

My life is currently...

C.  haotic
R.  eally packed full
A.  mazingly blessed
Z.  onked out
Y.  ielding to the Father

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I don't know what it is in this currently season - the last month or so - whether it's the Wed, Thurs, and Friday (Fridays are the toughest mentally) night classes plus one online class this trimester - or the traveling I've done that has kept me away from the house (3 wknds in a row - so happy I played a bit of catch up this wknd) - or the lack of seeing my husband regularly due to both our travels and school - or the lack of time to do really anything - or the non clean nature of my house (thank goodness I stopped to vacuum last night, dog hair was taking over!) - or the inability to really feel connected to others because I'm on the run... I'm not sure... but I currently feel like life is CRAZY.

Thursday night, before my hubby headed out Friday morning for Florida with the U of Memphis team (I had just gotten back in from being out of town for work Wednesday late night), we had a long conversation that turned into Mr. McGoo holding a crying mess of a wife (me) for hours! I broke. I couldn't handle it anymore, I was broken, overwhelmed, and plum tired! I was/am so thankful that he was there that evening to just let me cry and reassure me along the way, giving me comfort as well as a shoulder and warm embrace to cry on. I'm sure it was "exactly" what he wanted to do, ha, but he's an awesome hubby, so he was more than willing to be there for his crazy wife.

As I replayed my thoughts, words, and feelings the next day... I was reminded of something...

Some days it's good for me to have a breakdown like that... maybe not all the tears and snot and what not, but more so a breakdown of pretending that I am capable. A breakdown of pretending and trying to do it all myself, make it happen on my own, or overextending myself, because the reality is - I CANNOT! I cannot do it. I cannot do it alone. I'm not a super hero, nor am I made to walk this world alone, nor do I care to do it all on my own - so why so often do I try?! Thankfully I have an awesome God who provides and reminds me to not worry, and He has also blessed me with a man to walk by my side (Mr. McGoo) and good friends and family in addition to Himself being always near!

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.


Kelly said...

Understanding that we are broken and that God ACCEPTS us and STILL uses us in that state was the essence of the Angela Thomas study.

Rachael said...

love your acrostic. :) I've been feeling the same way lately too. Hang in there. The fact that God is perfectly faithful keeps me going when it gets crazy.