It's Okay

The first week of May was the beginning of a new school trimester and the most recent full emotional breakdown by Mrs. McGoo. The first Thursday and Friday of the month were some hard days. Feeling inadequate, incapable, unable, tired, worn out, dragged, beaten, and OVER this journey called full time work and nursing school... I was broken in a way that I haven't been in awhile.

Sure I have random, but regular crying moments here and there when I'm worn out and emotional, but this "full emotional breakdown" almost left me in a stand still. I prayed and prayed for peace and comfort through the verses I so regularly turn to - Philippians 4:6-7 and Matthew 6:25-34.

But thankfully I have an amazing husband that can read those emotions from me and not run out of the room, but instead pray with me, encourage me, and call on women in my life to support me when I'm down. Right when I absolutely needed it, I was flooded with texts and emails that reminded me of God's truths and His ability to strengthen me. Reminders that I didn't have to do it on my own and wasn't really called to do it that way either.

Mom and Dad even surprised me with flowers at work Friday afternoon, which overwhelmed me with emotion and sweet reminders of their unconditional love for crazy me.

So by Saturday morning... the load was lighter and the sun was brighter. He provided as usual! He even provided through others.

This sweet email spoke straight to the heart of the matter I needed to hear that day. I love that! I have a feeling I'll be reading through this more than once over the next 15months.

Thinking of you and praying for you today. 

You are a super woman! But you know that you don't always have to be strong and hold everything together. It's okay to feel overwhelmed, stressed and emotional. It doesn't mean you're weak or unable. It's just a reminder that God wants us to rely on Him. 

Praying that you will cast everything on Him today knowing that He loves & cares for you.

We love and care for you too! Praying you through this semester and season of life!

So for those that need to hear it today... it's okay!

Closing

Tonight ends my 13 day break from nursing school's Spring Trimester to the Summer 2012 Trimester. I completed Adult I and Pharmacology... passing both, which allows me to continue to the next phase. It has been the quickest 13 days of my life - but days that I am thankful for. I obviously did not blog a single moment of my break (until now) and honestly never really sat down long enough to do so.

Mr. McGoo and I took the approach with my break that we should do things we haven't had as much of an opportunity to do while I'm in school... we hung out together, we hung out with family, we hung out with friends, we went to festivities and events, we I threw a couple parties, we babysat our niece & nephew, and so on. We worked to fit as much in as possible.

Here are a few photos from the last several days...

hosted a family baby shower for middle sis

hostess sisters with the sister Mommy to Be

went to see the Redbirds play with friends - it was packed!

got pedicures with mom and the sisters

our adorable niece and nephew

Lots has really been going on and God is doing some awesome stuff in Mr. McGoo and my life. I miss documenting it all through blogging, but as soon as blogging becomes a stress and not an outlet, it's not a good thing. If and when able, I'll try to share some of the cool things God has been up to! What about you? He's always moving, how have you seen Him lately?

I'm trying to wrap up a few more things before the Summer 2012 trimester begins, but I realize the hour is getting late and good rest is really what I need to begin the next phase of nursing school.

night!

Easter Weekend

As you've noticed (as if there are any of "you" still around), I've been MIA in the blog-o-sphere. I've missed it, missed writing. But especially, I have missed keeping up with the many blogs that I follow and being encouraged, challenged, entertained, and informed by you them. I'm behind in the blog-o-sphere for sure. Life has been at a tempo, I'm not sure even this normal busy body is able to keep. The ability to "make it" truly has only come from one source, Christ and I find myself meditating regularly on three key verses: Isaiah 40:21-31, Philippians 4:6, and Matthew 6:25-34. He has been so faithful, and I've made it this far... 8 days to go to complete the trimester. I'm super close to saying, "one more down!"

Considering the pace of life these days, my blogging isn't the only thing that has suffered. I feel out of touch with friends, family, and at times, even my mate. I don't mean to sound like Nancy Negative - but at the same time I don't want to be fake... it's hard right now. Thankfully the Lord has blessed me with an amazing support network all throughout... lately I've been more humbled than ever by that network (husband, family, friends, church, etc) God has provided and their abundant support, encouragement, and provision.... seemingly just when I need it, right when I'm at breaking point.

Last month, Mr. McGoo and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary! It's doesn't seem like it's been that long, but at the same time it feels longer - - - I'm quickly forgetting what life was like before Mr. McGoo. And have been abundantly blessed the last 5+ years as God has blessed me with him in my life. To celebrate - I got Mr. McGoo a ring:

To celebrate our anniversary, Mr. McGoo took me to Hot Springs, Arkansas - but due to our schedule, Easter weekend was the earliest opportunity for our trip's date. So... this weekend we enjoyed Thursday night thru Sunday morning in Hot Springs and had a great opportunity to hang out with one another without distraction. It was grand! So without further adieu, here is a quick photo log of our trip.

We slept in (YAY!), read, ate a massive pizza at Rod's Pizza Cellar, went to a Secret Church simulcast, watched the races at Oaklawn Park, and ultimately just laid low. It was a perfect weekend.

We made it back to Memphis in time to worship and celebrate Easter with our church family. Following service, we headed to the rents' casa. We enjoyed some time with family, ate a delicious Easter lunch, got Mom and youngest sis signed up on Instagram (encouraging them that surely my BIL would be posting pics frequently once Baby Fisher arrived, no pressure Brent), watched some of the Master's, and headed out to bring our furbaby home.

Home now... back to the grind.

Study Material

So... I'm certain that Dex is not a fan of all this studying and paying attention to books that his mama does while at home... often keeping me from loving on him to his liking. He has shown me this with many of his to dos, one of which I documented here showing how he puts his head on my books and won't move.

Last night, he showed me once again his disdain for my study habits and school pursuits...

Mr. McGoo was away in Starkville, MS with some friends watching his beloved CATS take on the Dawgs in men's basketball. I walked into the house after class and knew something was up as soon as I didn't have a visual of Dexter from the doorway (meaning he was hiding).

I walked into the backroom where he's confined to find the book (on the left) looking like....

THIS on his bed! 

The entire plastic cover devoured and left for me in a nice throw-up like treat on the other side of the room (I didn't photograph that, you're welcome). In addition, he grabbed my note card filing box and when it popped open from the pressure of his mouth, he devoured the note cards I had made also (probably 10 total). Yummy!

Guess I'll have a story every time I pull out this drug reference book for the rest of my school career - never short of an adventure!

Books & Date Night

I didn't realize until right now what a "hot mess" my hair was that day - obviously my study mates and I have gotten so close to one another, none of us care about our looks upon arrival to the group. It is what it is- we have a job to do. We met Friday for nursing school paperwork pursuits at Starbucks. Here is a small sampling of the books we had with us to attempt to get the job done - there were only 3 of us there, the book to person ratio was crazy.

The stack was so big, we had to get a stool from the bar area to put some of them on to have room left on the table itself - craziness. This is life at present! Folks keep asking me "how is school?" and the only answer I know to give is a smile and these words: "it's kicking my butt". But, the Lord is sufficient and is constantly reminding me again and again (I'm hard headed that way) that He's with me and only asks for me to take it one day at a time and never on my own!

In other news, I did have an opportunity to take a break Saturday night after my clinical (645am-415pm) thanks to Mr. McGoo's preparation and pursuits of a date night! We went to a drive-in (one of our favorite things to do), grilled out brauts on the portable grill out there and snuggled in to watch The Grey and Underworld. I made it through The Grey without any trouble, enjoying the quality time with my hubs, however halfway through Underworld I was out, catching Zzzz's.

The flash on Mr. McGoo's phone was INSANE!

Study Attempt

It's pretty normal that after class in the evenings I have to come home, grab a quick bite to eat and begin working on the next task (assignment or study time) at hand. This process is NOT very conducive for my attention desiring furbaby or my rest.

Dex doesn't see his mama from 730am until 9pm+ most days, and therefore when I finally get home, he is more than ready for some TLC. Here is what happens if I haven't given him enough to his liking... good luck studying like this! I even attempt to push his head off, and he comes right back.

Pitiful.
Annoying.
And super cute!

Spring 2012

Another trimester of nursing school is underway... full steam ahead already! We began Wednesday, Jan 4th with a Dosage Competency Exam and officially began classes the day after - Thursday, Jan. 5th.


This is truly the wildest trimester yet... I'm taking 2 classes, 10 credit hours worth of activity = Monday (6-815pm), Tuesday (6-815pm), Wednesday (6-915pm), Thursday (6-915pm), and a full day Saturday (645am-415pm+). Although I'm looking forward to getting into the real nitty-gritty of nursing (they say I'll begin to feel like a real nurse towards the end of this trimester), the learning curve is extreme and the workload intense.

Again, I'm so thankful for the classmates that partner with me, encourage me, and keep me accountable. And especially thankful for the hubs at home that walks with me through this crazy journey and helps me along the way! Plus it doesn't hurt that my fabulous Mama is a RN herself - she'll get more than a call or two this trimester for sure!

To give you a visual - here are my textbooks for this trimester... Yikes!

All that to say, school and work is pretty much what is going on with me lately - everyday. So don't be surprised if the blog lacks during this time. I'm doing my best to remember Philippians 4:6-7, taking it one day at a time, and remembering I cannot and don't want to do this on my own! Thankful I don't have to!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Phil. 4:6-7

20 Months

One more trimester of school complete! Saturday I took my final skills checkoff for the hardest class I've yet to meet in nursing school: Basic Skills of Nursing. With the completion of the final, I wrapped up one more trimester.

My grades:

• A - Essentials for Professional Nursing (3 credit hours)
• B - Basic Skills in Nursing (4 credit hours)

I've never worked so hard for a B, and considering full time work and life outside of that, I definitely consider this trimester a _______ (cue photo below)!

That photo was too cute to pass up!

I really could not have done it without my study group. We definitely keep each other accountable. If you don't stay on top of the material, it quickly gets on top of you. Our study group works together to try to stay ahead of the game or at least on schedule. They have been a blessing and I look forward to tackling next trimester with them.

However, we are now stepping into our MUCH NEEDED short break. As of today, we have 15 days until we report back to campus for our Medication Dosage Competency Exam - January 4th. Then classes begin the very next day and a brutal schedule greets us. I know we are all looking forward to the next 15 days with our family, friends, and simple down time.

20 months to go!

Busy Girl

As you can tell by the lack of posts, blogging isn't taking a current priority in my life. Truth is - it's not an option. I'd love to have the opportunity to hash out some stuff in type more regularly, verbally vomiting for anyone that happens to come upon the blog, but right now I'm doing my best to tread water.

I'm staying afloat, and working to accomplish all that I can without drowning myself. Nursing school plus a full time job, a husband, a home, a life involved with ministry, and everything in between keeps a girl busy.

Part of the lesson I'm relearning (yes, I have to "learn" this lesson over and over, I'm that stubborn) during this stage of life is the obvious reality: I CANNOT DO IT ALL.

I know it might shock you, note the sarcasm, but for me that's not an easy reality to learn. I'm a "get the job done" kind of person... what needs to be done? Let's do it... and it's humbling to be reminded I can't, as much as I would like to try, do it all! Doing it "all" isn't an option right now and actually should never be! The times I attempt to do it all are the same moments I rely on myself instead of my Jesus.

However this realization of not being able to do it all or all on my own is paving the way for me to lean on others a bit more than I normally do. It's a humbling process but also a real blessing when so many people step up to the plate and love me well, pray for me, and assist along the way. See God's teaching me through all this!

One thing the craziness of my school and work schedule with life scattered in between has brought into clear view again is how blessed I am to have Mr. McGoo. He's a rockstar! Seriously! He's been so helpful in helping me keep the house clean, feed me, run necessary errands, remind me to take one day at a time, cook, grocery shop, etc. He has been beyond awesome in this new stage of school/work craziness for me! Thanks hubs!

Tonight I have my first exam of the trimester in my Basic Skills of Nursing class. Then back to the books to complete the assignments at hand. One day at a time.